#2741 Don’t Dial Pain

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Anon asks: What does it mean when an ex wants to “catch up” after not speaking or seeing each other in nearly four months? I got a random text from him (he’s in the army) telling me how he is, and that he wants to see me.

In my experience it doesn’t mean anything good, but like I said, that’s just my personal experience.

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#2740 Exes and Obligations

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Anon asks: Hey Isaac. I met a girl and we fell in love. Only problem was that she had been in a long-distance relationship for several years when she met me, and decided to stop waiting for him. She broke up with him, and now we’re together. He and I share acquaintances. Should we continue quietly for a while? I don’t like secrecy, but I do feel sensitivity towards the pain of loss.

Hey, gidday mate. This is an interesting conundrum. I’ve been on both sides of the post breakup relationship situation and there really is no good way to find out that your ex is in a new relationship, or for your ex to find out that you’ve already moved on. That said, there are plenty of terrible ways to find out, and that’s what you should try to avoid.

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#2739 Bad Boy 4 Lyf?

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Last week I wrote about sexual signifiers, repelling women and complicated designer clothing. Later that day, I took a quick survey of my female friends and asked them what, in their opinion, is the sexiest thing a guy can wear? Some said a suit, one said nothing at all, the majority said the following: Leather jacket, plain T-shirt, black jeans, sneakers.

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#2738 Oh, Friends

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Anon asks: Hey Isaac, how did you meet new people/make new friends upon arriving in New York? How have your friendships changed since getting there? I just got to London and am keen to expand the proverbial social network.

Hey, gidday mate. I moved to New York from Paris in August 2011. Besides a couple of French friends, the only people I knew in Paris were a bunch of crazy Australian girls and this Dutch dude named Edmond, and when they all decamped for New York at the end of the summer, I followed them here. They were kind enough to allow me to live with them in their apartment in the Financial District, and two days after I moved in, Tom Bull arrived.

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#2737 What’s In A Jacket?

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I’ve been thinking a lot about sexual signifiers recently; specifically about how people make sweeping assumptions about guys’ sexual orientation based on pre-determined and long-held social beliefs. I’m not talking about something as reductive as, “He likes clothes, he must be gay,” because it’s 2015 and I’m more surprised by young men who have no interest in clothing than by those who do, but even something as simple as, “He knows who the creative director of Chanel is, no straight guy would know that*.”

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