#98 Colin Forbes Abrams – Notorious F.A.G.

I love Colin. We were childhood friends but lost touch for about 12 years, only reconnecting in late 2005. He’s witty, cutting, a social force unto himself and endlessly quotable. He also plays contrabassoon in the Wellington Symphony Orchestra. He’s the only person I’ve ever met who can talk about penises in front of my grandmother and make her laugh uproariously. Here’s what he has to say for himself.

What do you like right now? My pyschiatrist.

If your plane was going down and you had to save NKOTB or the full cast of Beverley Hills 90210, who would it be? I’d save the Beverley Hills kids because Shannon Doherty is an inspirational bitch. I’d turn her on the others with a wet towel and a circular saw.

What’s it like playing in the Wellington Orchestra? It’s like a warm bath.

What’s the difference between the contrabassoon and the bassoon? The bassoon is an instrument, the contrabassoon is a life force.

Why do you like Wellington? Because my house is pretty and full of lesbians.

Who is your style inspiration? Keira Knightley. I love white people.

Any last words? Get amongst it boys.

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