#1354 The facts of life

Photo: GQ

1. Don’t go out on a date with a famous TV star, tell them you don’t watch their show, then call them by their character’s name three times during the course of the dinner. That pearl of wisdom was gleaned from Kevin Connolly (Entourage‘s Eric Murphy) in the documentary film Teenage Paparazzo. Apparently it’s happened to him a number of times. At least they didn’t call him Pizza Boy.

2. Cream coloured shoes are a lot less manly than navy blue shoes. File that one under ‘things your Dad should have told you’.

3. It’s a real jerk move to a) hire a well-known plus sized model, b) photoshop her a lot skinnier, then c) be quoted saying “I’m paid to make women look beautiful.” Crystal Renn vs Nicholas Routzen.

4. Despite just about every well known model screaming it from the rooftops (case in point, Christy Turlington: “[T]here’s nothing rewarding about modelling. It was a fun opportunity that allowed me to see the world but spiritually and intellectually there is nothing rewarding about the profession at all.”), people still seem to think that modelling is God’s given job to the world.

5. Olive/army green cotton pants are the new beige pants. But, as you can see from Steve McQueen above, beige pants are still better than just about every other option.

6. Go buy Harney & Sons Hot Cinnamon Spice Tea immediately. It’s like drinking steaming cups of Big Red chewing gum.

7. It’s okay to like lame things. We all do. Just be honest about it. There is nothing cool about claiming irony every time somebody questions your tastes.

8. If you’re going to tell everybody you think you’ve gotten fat, you better have a good workout plan to back up those complaints. Nobody likes a lazy whinger.

9. Get clothes made for you. The anticipation is so much greater than regular shopping and you get to unleash that giant control freak within.

10. One of the best things about New Zealanders that I always notice when I go travelling is how much less racist we are than just about everybody else. We don’t go around talking about how much we hate people from x country, nor do we constantly complain about new immigrants, and our parents don’t get angry if we marry outside of our own flock. Cultivate that.


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  1. Courtney says

    How wise! Fantasimo post.

    Now.. don’t strangle me for this – BUT – as strongly as I find my head nodding along in agreement w you when you say we aren’t racist; I discovered overseas that we make up for it by being far more ruthless about gingers :S

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