#1385 The facts of life

Photo: Clothes on Film

1. Inception was the single greatest cinematic experience of my life to date. Besides its riveting storyline and action scenes that left me in palpitations on the floor, the wardrobe was insane. And there’s this one shot of Ellen Paige in three quarter profile where she has the reddest, prettiest lips I’ve ever seen. The moment I walked out of the theatre I heard a train and completely freaked out. If you haven’t been yet, go. Go as many times as you can.

2. Goodie bags at fashion shows are unnecessary, obsolete and bad for the environment. While I appreciate that sponsors require some kind of presence in order to get their money’s worth, I wouldn’t call a whole bunch of press releases stuffed into a bag an opportunity for leverage – I’d call them a damned nuisance.

3. On that note, attention media: don’t copy and paste press releases. I made the mistake of doing so last night and had about 15 emails within 10 minutes telling me that this company’s name was spelt wrong or that designer’s city was Dunedin not Auckland!!! PR agents are the devil I tells ye, the devil.

4. Also, attention anonymous commenters who say nasty things about other people on the internet: you’re a bunch of spineless cowards. Grow a pair. At least own your negativity. The real world equivalent to you is somebody who gets kicks from sucker punching blind people.

5. Big upping oneself anonymously is never a good plan either.

6. Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong. That’s one of life’s little certainties. The only way to counteract this is by micromanaging everything at all times. Nobody likes a pitbull, but everybody loves a job well done.

7. Gentlemen, play around with textures in your clothing. Tweed, corduroy, cableknits, and cashmere look great and scream, “TOUCH ME!” You do want to be touched, don’t you?

8. I have this theory about why New Zealand (and the world, for that matter) has such a high number of STDs. Besides the obvious that males never want to use condoms, I reckon that people judge each others’ sexual health based on appearance. ie If somebody is pretty and smells nice, he or she probably won’t have chlamydia. WRONG. Something like one in every two sexually active people does have chlamydia. In conclusion: no glove, no love.

9. A wise man once told me, ‘Become who you want to marry.’ It’s good advice. The wise man was my Dad. He’s been happily married to my Mum for 28 years.

10. Models, stop dying. Please.


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  1. Anonymous says

    Isaac, I agree with you on all of those facts. So true. Except you can’t call PR agents the devil because you made a mistake by copying and pasting their press release. It’s your job to be a discerning reader of releases before sharing the info. Journo’s who copy and paste releases are just as bad as the agents who write them!

  2. Anonymous says

    Isaac, your concern for the health of our undercarriages is commendable, but the true rate of chlamydia in NZ, although hard to pin down exactly, is estimated at under 10 percent of the population even in the highest risk groups. That’s 1 in 10, not 1 in 2. Three-quarters of chlamydia cases are in people under 25, however, so be safe, kids.

    Research is your friend.

  3. says

    Sorry Mum, and Anon, apologies for my stretched statistics.

    I blame Oscar Wilde – it was he who said, “It is the privilege, nay, the obligation of every man of letters, to recall with absolute certainty that which has never occurred.”

  4. says

    I LOVE to micromanage!

    My theory is to assume everyone is useless and incapable, because really, you only know you’re going to get a job well done if you do it yourself right?

  5. Anonymous says

    In the interest of clarity let me elucidate : When contemplating marriage (which I recommend)you would do well to acquire the attributes you would like to find in a prospective partner. In this way we should ‘become the person we would like to marry’. It is a law of physics (physical laws being concrete examples of spiritual laws) that ‘like attracts like and taketh pleasure in the company of its kind.’

    Isaac’s father

  6. Rebeccah says

    Do you know I said the same thing about Ellen Paige’s lips when we left the movie? Andrew thought I was being weird, but it was so true!
    Wicked movie eh?
    Also totally agree with the anonymous comment fact.
    Was the movie as good the second time round?

  7. says

    But who did the snappy suits for Inception Isaac? That is the question I was trying to answer for myself after I saw it. Haha good to see you finally letting rip on the haters. I’m sure it’s actually about one or two people doing it all.

  8. says

    Simon my friend, it’s been too long. Every suit was custom made for the film. Click the Clothes on Film link underneath the photo – it’ll take you to an interview about the wardrobe.

  9. Lover says

    I love your mum.
    Also love that you mum reads your blog.
    I love mums.
    I also love tea. Life lessons should be all tea based.

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