#1398 Levi’s may have just made jeans shopping a little less painful

Photo: ohwrd

I don’t care who you are, where you were born or how amazing your ass is, buying jeans is tough. Levi’s did some research and found that your average lady will try on 10 pairs of jeans before finally settling on the pair that is the least offensive. Sounds about right, right? I’m not a happy shopper at the best of times, but jeans shopping definitely tops the charts as the worst expedition imaginable. Jeans shopping with a girl, however, is like getting paper cuts between your fingers. And then dipping those bleeding fingers into a fun mix of salt, vinegar and hydrochloric acid – all the while trying to tell her that it’s the denim company’s fault, because her ass is perfect. Trust me, I would know. A special lady who is very close to my heart has forced me to go jeans shopping with her on numerous occasions over the 26-odd years that I’ve known her, and it always ends in tears and tantrums. Mine usually.

It’s not that she has a bad body, quite the opposite actually, but for some reason she can never find a pair of jeans that fits properly. They’re either too tight and too low, or perfect on the ass but with a massive gaping space at the back of the waist. Baffling, I know.

So that’s why I was particularly excited to read about Levi’s new Curve ID system. The new jeans come in three different flavours – Slight Curve for the flat-ass, Demi-Curve for the hump and Bold Curve for the full blown ghetto bootay. Obviously there are more than three types of lady-body, but it’s a good start.

But here’s the thing. So excited was I at this marvellous new discovery, that I immediately emailed all the necessary information to the aforementioned special lady who is very close to my heart. The necessary information was accompanied by the text: “Hey! Look! Now there’s even a pair of jeans that’ll fit your ghetto bootay!”

And guess what – no reply. No, ‘Thank you Isaac, you’re so kind for thinking of me, and for being patient on our many jeans shopping expeditions over the years…’ Nothing.

You just can’t please some people.

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Comments

  1. Anonymous says

    While I (in theory) applaud the sentiment behind this move, I’d be surprised if this was anything but a marketing gimmick. While they will always have their fans Levi’s haven’t been particularly relevant to the denim market for quite some time imo

  2. Anonymous says

    These are the bomb! I can never find jeans to fit, and these don’t cut off circulation to my waist, while fitting my legs perfectly. I bought 2 pairs over the weekend.

  3. Rebeccah says

    I didn’t get your text! I LOVED the email though. I have told half the world about the exciting new adventures to be had with jeans shopping! You will be excused, you’ve definitely done your time.
    I was actually wondering why you hadn’t replied to my brilliant movember suggestion..
    PS – we’re coming up on the 26th August. I hear you’ll be in Sydney. I wasn’t going to make you go jeans shopping with me, will these even be available in NZ then? It was hardly necessary to skip the country..
    PSS – Sofia Grace has the start of a top front tooth!
    Much love

  4. says

    I admit I rushed down to the Levi’s SoHo store the day these came out — what? it’s right around the corner from work — with a colleague in tow.

    We got measured according to some very nerfangled technological Levi’s CurveID(TM) standard, picked out a couple pairs each in our size and respective Curves, and then made our way back to the fitting rooms.

    Verdict: So meh. The hunt for the perfect jeans continues apace.

  5. frixle says

    Went to JJ on Saturday and tried some of these on, fit.like.a.glove. Couldn’t believe how awesome they made my ass look. Plus they are the perfect length AND the skinny isn’t that ridiculously skinny that I can fit my not so skinny calf’s in to them. Highly recommend!!

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