#1546 The facts of life

Alexa Chung in denim cutoffs. Photos: Google

1. Denim cutoff shorts are great because they make hot girls look hotter and all that, but it’s time to move on. The fact that they’re now mainstream does not detract from the fact that they’re also really, really trashy… And far too exposing, extremely perve-inducing and therefore contributing to the world’s ever-increasing moral laxity. Let’s keep it classy this summer, ladies.

2. Three cheers for Jessica Clarke. That girl has single handedly put New Zealand modelling on the world map with her breakout season just been. And here’s a little trivia for her fans: did you know she also played netball for New Zealand? What a champion. Next thing we’ll find out she was a 15 year old Rhode scholar.

3. One of the first big time international fashion shows I ever went to was Number (N)ine’s finale offering back in January 2009. I really didn’t get it at the time but now, watching this video, I think I do. It’s funny how that happens.

4. I understand that GST has gone up 2.5%, but how does that equate to the 50 cent price hike on coffee, gum and just about every other daily necessity on the market? When will our income go up an inexplicable 20%-50%? Answer me that, government!

5. Budgets and finale glitches aside, why was Australia’s Next Top Model so much more credible than New Zealand’s Next Top Model? Besides the quality of the girls, the standard of the shoots was really high (ie. no campy, theatrical, OTT dinosaur body painting). Plus, the winner got a real life Harper’s Bazaar cover. That’s like an actual big deal. Why isn’t NZNTM aligning itself with our answer to Australia’s Harper’s BazaarFashion Quarterly? And if it does stick with Cleo, get that winning girl a cover!

6. The secret to success is showing up. Woody Allen said that, and I reckon it’s the God honest truth.

7. The more I go overseas, the more I see the differences between New Zealanders and everybody else in the world. While we do have a lot of wonderful attributes, it pains me to say that we’re not the friendliest bunch. If we see somebody we don’t know very well, we’ll often look away rather than making eye contact and just saying hello. Take it from me: it takes a lot less effort to just say hello.

8. Did you know that Les Mills’ Body Jam programme has been sold to something like 70,000 gyms around the world? It’s pretty much just straight dancing for an hour to amazing music like Kanye West and *NSYNC. I’ve never had so much fun working out in my entire life, and the people watching is second to none.

9. A commenter raised the valid point that blame shouldn’t be placed on the young women who get taken advantage of on photoshoots or whose nude photographs get sold at a later date (like Miranda Kerr’s did recently). That wasn’t my intention when I wrote the Miranda Kerr piece, but if it came off that way, my apologies. Here’s the comment in full:

“‘The moral of the story is simple: keep your clothes on, girls.’

Why is this the moral of the story rather than ‘Don’t be sleazy opportunistic jerks, guys’ and ‘Don’t support, endorse or encourage sleazy opportunistic jerks, media and society and general’? Those are just an impossible standard to hold compared to telling women what to do?

Sorry, I do figure you’re not a dick and not intentionally trying to victim blame or whatever, but I hate that this is always (really always!) the moral of the story. It shouldn’t be assumed impossible that past trust with an old room-mate or ex-boyfriend won’t be maintained, and they’re the dickheads to blame if it isn’t. We don’t tend to do this in situations not involving naked young women.”

10. Kickstarts by Example is THE summer jam. But if your tastes are leaning towards the gangsta, Kanye wins with Monster.


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  1. Nemesis_nz says

    haha so true – every single point – especially the one about example the song absolutely rocks! and to be fair a lot of their earlier songs are just as good!

  2. Mottle says

    Just to correct the grammatical mistakes I made in my blind rage commentor fury or whatever –

    ‘media and society IN general’
    ‘It shouldn’t be assumed impossible that past trust with an old room-mate or ex-boyfriend WOULD [could?] be maintained’

  3. Sam. says

    Im in Canada right now and the gym beside my work plays the les mills music and video, complete with upbeat poppy music with Moari lyrics all day every day. its hilarious.

  4. says

    Hey Isaac,

    One of the reasons you see such a price hike due to GST is because GST didn’t just go up for the shop vendor ‘selling’ the gum etc it went up for the supplier of that gum, the transport company, the manufacturer…etc etc So by the time it goes through all the distrubution channels a$1 stick of PK will now cost $1.20.


  5. kpnand says

    In response to numero 7, im a kiwi that lives in melbourne, as much as it pains me to say this, but it is SO true, New Zealand has so much to offer as a beautiful country but some of the people just need to learn how to live harmoniously and maybe smile and make idle chit chat with someone not in their clique once in a while. and a little more patriotism wouldn’t hurt anyone guys haha kudos for bringing it up isaac!

  6. Lucy says

    “extremely perve-inducing and therefore contributing to the world’s ever-increasing moral laxity”.

    What is this supposed to mean?

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