Photo: Katherine Lowe
I’d love to be able to tell you a story of how I approached Kanye West all cool and nonchalant and chatted with him for several minutes about the state of menswear and hip hop and how diamond grills actually affect eating habits, but the reality is nothing of the sort, and I am anything but cool or nonchalant. Here’s how it went down. Before the Band of Outsiders show tonight, I walked up to Kanye West and asked if Katherine could take his photo. He said no, not now, because he was eating one of the delicious lemon cookies that had been given out to all attendees, and, judging by his gesticulations, he didn’t want to be photographed while chewing. We hovered nearby for a good five minutes, but after he’d finished chewing, he started chatting, and interrupting him would have just been plain rude.
So I waited. I waited as the lights went down, the models descended from the ceiling on abseil rope and the menswear section finished. I waited as the girls arrived, the lights flashed and Jim Morrisson droned on about riding a snake to a lake. I waited as the girls left the catwalk, Scott Sternberg took his bow, and the lights came up again.
Then I made my move.
Pulling Katherine behind me like a rag doll, I breathlessly tapped Kanye West on the arm. This is word-for-word what happened next:
Me: Excuse me, Kanye, can I get a photograph?
Him: Yeah, alright.
Me: I’m your biggest New Zealand fan. Seriously. Your number one New Zealand fan.
Him: Wow thank you.
He then offered me his hand and did one of those half handshake/half hug things that men often do.
Me: I even overstayed in Australia just to come and see you at the Runaway film premiere.
Him: Oh really? Wow you went there? That’s cool.
Me: Yeah, I loved that film.
Him: Thank you.
Me: I love everything you’ve ever done.
Him: Thank you. I appreciate it.
At that point, he walked away, leaving me hyperventilating. I’ll be the first to admit that I lost the plot, but I couldn’t help it. The man is a hero to me. Maybe next time I’ll think of something slightly more intelligent to say. Until then, I’ll always have this picture.
I LIKE YOU!