1. Friends who promise they’re going to stop attempting to hook up with every girl they meet – regardless of her relationship status or the fact that she’s your other friend’s date, then spend the next three hours sending her messages on Facebook.
3. That especially awkward moment when you have to cover for Friend A because the girl who was dating Friend B last week is with Friend A and Friend B just called to ask if you’ve seen her. Complicated, I know. But awkward nonetheless.
4. That moment when you realise just how similar your life is to Jersey Shore.
5. And then, that moment when you realise you have actually become your own mother.
But I digress…
6. When random strangers ask to use your lip balm. How am I supposed to know you’re not a card carrying member of the cold sore club!? Get your own.
7. When you know somebody has read your message on BBM or WhatsApp but they don’t respond. Also, when somebody doesn’t text you back, then Tweets, then texts you later saying, “Oh sorry, I didn’t look at my phone.” Especially when their Tweet says at the bottom: ‘ Sent via Twitter for Blackberry.’
8. People who cry on your shoulder about a particular situation and then get themselves into that situation over and over again. In particular – anybody in a relationship with a jerk who keeps going back to that jerk. The only people with limitless sympathy for you are your parents. If you can’t talk to them about it, you probably shouldn’t be doing it at all. Leave your poor friends alone.
9. Anybody who ever tells me that a band sold out. Sue them for wanting to make a little money. Or, perhaps, did you ever stop to think that their style of music suddenly became more popular than it once was? Don’t be such a hipster.
10. When your roommate uses your roll-on deodorant. Come on!
I LIKE YOU!