Anon asks: Hi Isaac, I’ll make this short: should I be worried if my boyfriend who spoils me with beautiful surprises and lovely messages all the time keeps on liking other girls’ selfies and bikini shots on Instagram non-stop?
Hey, gidday mate. Instagram has offered an entirely new and semi-legitimate way for boys to perv on (and attempt to flirt with) attractive strangers in various states of undress, and it can make some people feel very uncomfortable. All of a sudden you’re thinking, “Why does he keep liking pictures of people who look the opposite of me?” or, “Does he think s/he is hotter than me?” or, “Is he trying to cheat on me?”
Suddenly you’ve fallen down a deep hole of Internet sleuthing and you’re investigating every single person he’s followed within the past three months and checking those strangers’ geotags against the bank statement that you found lying around his apartment and you’re about ready to hire a private detective.
To answer your question, it’s a matter of trust. It’s wonderful that he spoils you with beautiful surprises and lovely messages, but does he behave in ways that make you question his fidelity? Is double clicking selfies really the only thing he’s doing that gives you pause for thought? Or is this a symptom of a larger problem?
If you trust him implicitly, let this one slide. If you can’t, you could tell him that it makes you uncomfortable when he likes other people’s selfies. Honest communication is important in any relationship, but be aware that in this case, it might weird him out that you’re checking up on his Instagram activity.
However: If the trust isn’t there, then listen to your gut. Alarm bells are probably ringing for a reason. Gifts are great, but relationship security’s better.
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