Anon asks: Hi Isaac! I was studying at a coffee shop today and a cute guy kept looking my way. At a certain point, he was standing behind me in the line for the bathroom and asked me if that was the line (I said yes and smiled). He stayed at the coffee shop a little bit longer but we didn’t talk. My question is, as a girl, how do I go up and talk to a cute guy (and who possibly thinks you’re cute too) in these kinds of settings without seeming too forward?
Hey, gidday mate! By saying something entirely innocent like, “What’s that book you’re reading?” or, “How were the eggs?” or, “When is that rain going to end?” No joke, I’m like 99% sure that’s all it takes to get a guy to start a full-blown conversation with you.
I was in an Uber Pool the other day with this girl — and not wanting to seem like a creep I sat there looking out my window — and she said to me, “What’s your final destination?” We talked solidly for the next 15 minutes.
Boys are easy. It doesn’t take much.
Anon asks: Hi Isaac, your travels are epic and I’m feeling stir-crazy, antsy and altogether inclined to get the hell out of Dodge (Dodge being sunny happy NorCal). I’m not one to put a lot of weight in “signs,” but I feel like the universe is pushing me to explore a slice of Australia (Sorry, Kiwis!). My friends think it’s a bit crazy to go alone, just for a week (all I can do). But I feel it in my bones and it seems like I have something to prove — is one week Down Under worthwhile as a solo traveler?
I guess it all depends on your comfort with independence, your ability to make friends, and your spirit of adventure. If you feel like all those things are high, then why not go do the damn thing!?
If I was you I’d do 10 days — four in Melbourne, four in Sydney, and two in Byron Bay. Stay in hostels. (Australians pronounce that word hos-sTELL weirdly.) You’ll love it.
Anon asks: I was dating this guy and for the first month it went so well, but then he started distancing himself. But then a bit later we talked, and he said wonderful things to make me go back to liking him all over again. Then out of nowhere he just stopped again so I called to understand why and he said he thought we were just friends and that he treats everyone else the same. How am I supposed to get over this?
By accepting what has happened and making a conscious decision in your mind that it’s over. Don’t fantasize about what might have been, because it’s not happening.
Then, keep in mind at all times that there are an infinite amount of other guys out there who are entirely more suitable to date than this guy. Because in all honesty, this guy sounds like a dick.
Anon asks: My boyfriend’s ex rides by my house and when she see me she does little kid things I don’t understand
Jealousy compels us to act in ridiculous ways. Treat it with a grain of salt, and keep in mind that she’s hurting herself more than she’s hurting you. Like the Zen Monks say: “Holding onto a resentment is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.” Jealousy/resentment — it’s all the same thing.
Anon asks: Hey Isaac! So, I’ve been dating this guy casually for about four months now. About two months in he brought up the “What are we?” conversation and asked if I was okay to, “Continue to see and hook up with each other casually,” and I said yes because at the time I was okay with it. But now I’ve realised that I want more and have several times made up my mind to end things. BUT every time I spend time with him I realize how great he is and chicken out. How do I do this? Help me Obe Wan, you’re my only hope.
Wait. Why do you want to end things if you’ve realized how great he is? Why don’t you have the “What are we?” conversation straight back at him and tell him you want something serious? I’m a firm believer that we don’t get things unless we ask. The squeaky wheel gets the grease! (But I feel like I should preface that with a disclaimer that I have never waited around for anything to happen in my entire life.)
Anon asks: Isaac!! Talk to me about gyms!! I’m a scrawny guy who wants to get healthier (#gains are a bonus, but not the objective) but in NYC/East Village there are so many gyms. How did you choose?? Equinox is so fancy, but I honestly can’t tell if it’s worth my money.
I go to Blink on Avenue A — it costs $25 per month and you get to take a friend for free every time you go. DO IT. (It’s owned by Equinox but it’s the super cheap version.)
I LIKE YOU!